


Vader in the Living Room

by PrussianInAmerica



Series: Vader Wouldn't Have Put Up with You [5]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack Treated Seriously, Domestic, Established Relationship, Livetweeting, M/M, Starbucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-15 20:48:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5799574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrussianInAmerica/pseuds/PrussianInAmerica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo just wants to hang his new poster where everyone can admire it. Hux wants to finish his paper without his boyfriend's obsession taking over their home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a blanket apology for everything I ever contribute to this fandom.
> 
> "Imagine your OTP having a low-key argument in a Starbucks and the guy sitting behind them is livetweeting everything he overhears.” [otpprompts](http://www.otpprompts.tumblr.com)
> 
> Please let me know if you find any inconsistencies or spelling errors in this, as I have no beta and am sick of looking at it.

Hux wasn’t one for fancy coffee drinks. Give him something black as sin with maybe a little sugar and he was happy. He’d never set foot in a Starbucks before meeting Kylo, and if they ever broke up he very much doubted he’d ever set foot in one again. Until then, he was stuck accompanying the giant man-toddler every afternoon for lunch, because Ren needed his white chocolate and whip cream monstrosity and something called a toffeedoodle.

They don’t tend to talk much over these lunch dates, each busy with their own projects. Hux with his classwork, Kylo with bidding on ridiculous Darth Vader memorabilia. The older man tries not to think about what could possibly arrive on their doorstep because of his partner’s strange obsession. Instead, he focuses on his paper and his turkey and havarti.

Kylo broke the silence as Hux was researching the historical effectiveness of torture. “Are you planning on using that open space on the bookshelf for anything?”

“It’s where my first published paper is going. Why?”

“But you’re not actually using it right now?”

“Not yet, no.” The military history major leveled a glare at his boyfriend over the top of his laptop screen. “You’re not using it for Darth Vader memorabilia. There’s plenty more room on your wall for it, I’m sure.”

Ren let out a sound Hux had only heard from small children being denied sweets. “But then no one will see it!”

“You’re the one who decided you wanted your wall in the bedroom.”

“I feel safer with him watching over me while I sleep.”

“It’s not going on the shelf.”

“You don’t even know what it is!”

“I don’t need to. It’s Vader related and we agreed all your Vader stuff – aside from clothing, don’t give me that look – would stay in our room, on your shrine – sorry, wall.”

“You just don’t understand.” The other man said with a pout and a bite of his cookie.

“ _'You just don’t understand’?_ Are you fifteen? Because we should really get your age right before I get arrested for pedophilia.”

“Just this one thing! I’ll never ask to put any Vader things in the living room again!”

“You’ve said that four times in the last two months.”

“But you haven’t said yes yet.”

“You’re being a child about this.”

“I am not! You’re the one who refuses to let me decorate the apartment we own together.”

“You can decorate if you want to.” Hux sipped his coffee and bookmarked the page as a source. He was clearly not going to get any work done today. “As long as it’s not related to Darth Vader.”

“You get to have your military diagrams all over the place!”

“Those don’t make people uncomfortable when they visit.”

“Vader was a great leader, you should admire him.”

“He allowed two Death Stars to be destroyed by the Rebellion, he couldn’t find a boy with his last name, on his home planet, and he defected at the last minute.”

“All of that was the Rebellion’s fault.”

“Why couldn’t he crush the Rebellion, then? He had the bigger army. He probably had much better resources.”

Kylo scowled and didn’t say anything.

“He also had a nasty habit of Force-choking officers who didn’t live up to his expectations. Not a good way to increase moral.”

“Incentive to do better.”

“That’s what promotions are for.”

“Threats work better.”

“Threats rattle people. Rattled officers miss things. Important things like an orphan named Luke Skywalker living on their boss’ home planet.”

“I hate you.”

“You just wish I was Anakin Skywalker, so you could fuck Vader.” It was probably overly harsh, but it shut the man up, so Hux excused it. He’d make up for it later.

Ren spent the next few minutes furiously typing while Hux finished reading the source he’d started before Kylo’s little tantrum. The next time either of them looked up was when the barista called out an order for “Vader”. Hux was used to his boyfriend acting strange, but this was new.

“Did you-“ Hux began, only to be cut off by a furious Kylo Ren chasing another frightened student from the the coffee shop. The older man sighed and opened a new tab. Maybe Phasma would know what had just happened…


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started adding the alt text for these to begin with, but it was taking forever and I really wanted to post this. I'll go back and add it all later. For now, please let me know if you have problems viewing the tweets or if you think one may be missing. I forgot two when I was making them and made an unforgivable typo on another. Hopefully I didn't make any others.
> 
> To those of you who saw the version of this with "Fucking take my words dammit." at the beginning, we've all had times that AO3 has issues editing a chapter, right?

“Are you planning on using that open space on the bookshelf for anything?”

“It’s where my first published paper is going. Why?”

“But you’re not actually using it right now?”

“Not yet, no. … You’re not using it for Darth Vader memorabilia. There’s plenty more room on your wall for it, I’m sure.”

“But then no one will see it!”

“You’re the one who decided you wanted your wall in the bedroom.”

“I feel safer with him watching over me while I sleep.”

“It’s not going on the shelf.”

“You don’t even know what it is!”

“I don’t need to. It’s Vader related and we agreed all your Vader stuff – aside from clothing, don’t give me that look – would stay in our room, on your shrine – sorry, wall.”

“You just don’t understand.”

“’You just don’t understand’? Are you fifteen? Because we should really get your age right before I get arrested for pedophilia.”

“Just this one thing! I’ll never ask to put any Vader things in the living room again!”

“You’ve said that four times in the last two months.”

“But you haven’t said yes yet.”

“You’re being a child about this.”

“I am not! You’re the one who refuses to let me decorate the apartment we own together.”

“You can decorate if you want to. As long as it’s not related to Darth Vader.”

“You get to have your military diagrams all over the place!”

“Those don’t make people uncomfortable when they visit.”

“Vader was a great leader, you should admire him.”

“He allowed two Death Stars to be destroyed by the Rebellion, he couldn’t find a boy with his last name, on his home planet, and he defected at the last minute.”

“All of that was the Rebellion's fault."

“Why couldn’t he crush the Rebellion, then? He had the bigger army. He probably had much better resources.”

“He also had a nasty habit of Force-choking officers who didn’t live up to his expectations. Not a good way to increase moral.”

“Incentive to do better.”

“That’s what promotions are for.”

“Threats work better.”

“Threats rattle people. Rattled officers miss things. Important things like an orphan named Luke Skywalker living on their boss’ home planet.”

“I hate you.”

“You just wish I was Anakin Skywalker, so you could fuck Vader.”


End file.
